Fanboys, it had to be fanboys....
Today after work I hit up the local Fantasy Shops to fulfill my manga addiction of late. I headed out early in order to try and dodge the normal smattering of fanboys that I recall hanging out at comic book shops and game stores, chatting away the latest new rules of 3rd gen advanced dungeons and dragons lore and talking the perverbial fanboy smack. "My fighter mage Gorax knows level 11 lightening spell. +5" And they aren't even the worst. By far the worst are the Larpists (Live Action Role Players.) All I'll say is 30 year old men should not be squeezing 250 lbs of ass into some yellow spandex so they can be "Link, you know...from Zelda..."
Wrong wrong wrong I was. I got the the Fantasy shop in Maplewood like 25 minutes after they opened and low and behold....fanboys. It had to be fanboys. But not just any old pasty white fanboys. No, these fanboys have evolved. Something crossbred between a Geek and a Nerd. This new breed of Gnerd, pronounced (Guh-nerd) has evolved from the small minded fanboy gamers in 1d4 greed, but lost 1d6 intelligence. The Gnerd only commicates by grunts and mean stares that would ward off anyone trying to buy that schwag they want. Not quite as interested these days in the statistics of their characters being able to cast "lvl 21 cock of the flaming;" no they prefer to oogle as much gaming, anime, manga and mostly marvel schwag as possible. The schwag to them is like a status symbol. To them it's like gaining 3d6 points of notoriety, to us it's like "What the fuck?"
Totally taken aback by the newly evolved freak of the comic/gaming world I walked right by the backissues and kinda did that thing where you look around like your actually interested in the stuff in front of you (because your kind of embarassed that you walked to where you thought the backissues would be and find they've moved and in their place is a 4x4 foot square layout for "miniature" role playing games. Little silver and gold figures litter the mini field of battle ready to square off in little fights to the death being commanded by herois lord Gorax... Might as well have had that crazy old prospector from that claymation christmas movie in their too, singing his silver and gold song and yapping about how Bumbles bounce...
To make a long story even longer, I picked up about 3 issues I needed there and hit up Kirkwood Fantasy shop. Thank christ I was the only one there. I also hit the shit shop and Gary calls it on telegraph. All said and done cut the gap in my collection down by about 1d6.
Wrong wrong wrong I was. I got the the Fantasy shop in Maplewood like 25 minutes after they opened and low and behold....fanboys. It had to be fanboys. But not just any old pasty white fanboys. No, these fanboys have evolved. Something crossbred between a Geek and a Nerd. This new breed of Gnerd, pronounced (Guh-nerd) has evolved from the small minded fanboy gamers in 1d4 greed, but lost 1d6 intelligence. The Gnerd only commicates by grunts and mean stares that would ward off anyone trying to buy that schwag they want. Not quite as interested these days in the statistics of their characters being able to cast "lvl 21 cock of the flaming;" no they prefer to oogle as much gaming, anime, manga and mostly marvel schwag as possible. The schwag to them is like a status symbol. To them it's like gaining 3d6 points of notoriety, to us it's like "What the fuck?"
Totally taken aback by the newly evolved freak of the comic/gaming world I walked right by the backissues and kinda did that thing where you look around like your actually interested in the stuff in front of you (because your kind of embarassed that you walked to where you thought the backissues would be and find they've moved and in their place is a 4x4 foot square layout for "miniature" role playing games. Little silver and gold figures litter the mini field of battle ready to square off in little fights to the death being commanded by herois lord Gorax... Might as well have had that crazy old prospector from that claymation christmas movie in their too, singing his silver and gold song and yapping about how Bumbles bounce...
To make a long story even longer, I picked up about 3 issues I needed there and hit up Kirkwood Fantasy shop. Thank christ I was the only one there. I also hit the shit shop and Gary calls it on telegraph. All said and done cut the gap in my collection down by about 1d6.
posted by Sean at Monday, August 08, 2005
0 Comments:
Post a Comment
<< Home